there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
