Can Purell be used as lube?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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