Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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