I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
