the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
