oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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