Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
