Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So much Jack, so little girl.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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