Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
