don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
