My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
