whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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