And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
