Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
