Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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