Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
