You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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