You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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