It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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