i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
