Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
