I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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