oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
