She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
