I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
