I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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