Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
