I will die if light touches me.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
