He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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