I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
