Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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