I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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