you would pick up someone in the library
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
