? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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