Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
