Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
