There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
