Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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