And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
