I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
