these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
