My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
