Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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