Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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