he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
