Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
