then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
