Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
