I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
