in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
