it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
