When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you win again, gameday.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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