dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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