i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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