I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
