she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
