theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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