Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
