Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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