so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
