jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
