at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
