just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
