Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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