It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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